Airplane Antics

With news of my Aunt Barb's declining health, and a husband with an eye for affordable airfare, the kids & I headed to Balitmore, MD today. By plane. Which is a FAR better option than by car... but it meant traveling with two toddlers, by myself. Something I plan to never do again... expect I have to. In about 2 weeks, when we go home to Texas.

Why, you ask?? What could possibly make me want to never repeat today? Let me share, jsut a little about our day. And let me say a camera crew should have been following me - it would have made for a great summer comedy movie!!

My day started at 3:40am... when my husband so graciously whispered "good morning" and told me it was almost 4am. Um... almost means 3:59, in my book... at least when it comes to waking up in the morning - an event I dread every morning.

By 5am we were on our way to the airport, all loaded up! Thanks in HUGE part to my wonderful husband!!

5:45am, Jacob helps me through Secruity - another reason he's sooo awesome! And that went relatively smoothly. As smoothly as taking 4 pairs of shoes off, 4 coats and a belt off, emptying all our pockets, getting all our bags through the scanner, wrangling a 1 year old while trying to fold up a monster stroller, and trying to coax a shy 2 year old through the metal detector.... then undoing all of it... coats back on, shoes back on, stroller back up, etc. It went as smoothly as that all can go ;-)

6:30am, we board our flight. Surprisingly, Nathan did AWESOME with saying goodbye to his Daddy and not screaming as we walked down the ramp to the plane. Thankfully we checked our bag, so all I had to get on the flight was a stroller, a car seat, a backpack, a laptop case and a diaper bag. Oh, yeah, and 2 toddlers. Special thanks to the nice flight attendant who hauled that heavy car seat down to the back of the plane for me! And the flight wasn't full, and with some persuasion, my seat mate left to find a kid-free zone. So we got 3 seats together. Yay!

7:00am we take off... and the real fun begins. Especially when Nathan yanks Faiths pacifier out at the moment the plane starts accelerating, and then throws it to the floor, out of reach by me. Great... I had to take off a shoe to get the paci with my toes. Now I'm shoeless with no way to reach down and put it back on. But at least Faith has something to suck on during take-off, for ear pressure changes.

Nathan LOVES take off - once we're in the air, and the g-force lessens he looks at me, with a smile and says "more"! lol But then, entertaining him for the next 2 1/2 hours proved to be harder.

Play-Doh... it's great for entertaining a toddler! But not on a plane. Nathan's ball of play doh disappears... I can't find it. So I give him another. And it disappears. I look harder - it landed under a sleeping man's feet, diagonally across the aisle from me. And it landed right next to the 1st ball of play-doh! At least Nathan has consistent aim... lol I make a mental note to ask for it when we land, after the man wakes.

But I forgot. And when I remembered, I noticed it was gone. Oh well, must have rolled away during arrival. Uh.... not so much. See, on the ramp as we left the plane, I spotted a piece.

And on the people mover, in the airport, I spotted another piece. LOL That guy probably got home tonight and wondered why on earth he has fluorescent red stuff on the bottom of his shoe ;-)

Back to the first flight...

I learned that when you use a DVD player in a laptop, on a plane, for a 2 year old, you NEED earphones. He couldn't hear a thing, and so it didn't do anything to help entertain him... just frustrated him.

And I learned not to ask for anything to drink from the stewardess when traveling with kids... a cup of water + a laptop + a toddler = disaster. Thankfully disaster was avoided - barely.

And when the stewardess offers to fill your toddler's sippy cup with water & juice, and fills it to the rim, you have trouble... cause the cap is going to cause overflowage and that overflow has to co somewhere... using the (now empty) cup of water to "catch" the overflow doesn't work. I think it's a Murphy's Law. The juice & water lands on mom's pants... joining the water from mom's aforementioned water cup...

I also learned M&Ms are awesome... toddlers love them. They keep toddlers happy and still. Until you run out. And then all you have left are HYPER toddlers.

Oh, and speaking of snacks... bananas are great. Portable. Healthy. Sweet and yummy. Butv OH so messy when squished between a toddlers fingers. And then rubbed on mommy's shirt... by the way. I'm pretty confident we left 1/2 a peeled banana under a seat on that first flight. Sorry to the flight attendants. Or the person who may have stepped on it, if it wasn't caught first. Or the cleaning person in the airport who found pieces of banana on the ramps & people movers when it came off the sole of the person's shoe who stepped in it. Really, I am sorry!

And one more lesson learned on that first flight... pack empty plastic bags. For trash. But also for that poopy diaper that is bound to happen... AND for the poop soaked pants that fall victim to the exploding diaper.

Did I mention that said exploding diaper happened just as we landed?? Great timing - if it hadn't been oozing out of my little girl's pants! So there I was, surrounded by people waiting to exit the plane, watching me and saying to themselves "no, she's not going to do what I think she's going to do". Oh yes, yes I am. A momma has no other choice. I changed Faith right there - in front of 15 strangers crammed in a tight space. On top of our bags, with a wiggly toddler trying hard not to help me. And then I changed her clothes. All the time, trying not to look at the faces of those (probably quite disgusted) strangers around me.

Ok, flight one is over - YIPPEE!! We made it to Charlotte. We have 60 minutes to make our connecting flight - that is, from the time we landed. A good 15 minutes have already passed by the time we exit the plane, get the stroller re-set-up and loaded, and head into the terminal. To race through the airport - to the other side, to catch our flight. On the way, stopping for mommy to pee, Nathan to get changed and to grab some lunch for the flight.

First stop... potty. The Family restroom is being used. The handicap stalls in the regular restrooms are broken. So it's a regular stall... momma gets to leave the door open while she does her business. Wonderful...

Yes, that's Nathan sitting on top of the upside-down carseat, which is bungee corded to the stroller. Yay for bungee cords!! Boo for toddlers who should think that's a cool place to ride.... but instead scream and cry.... All the way through the airport as Mommy runs like the wind to catch our flight in time.

We reach our gate, just as the last zone is boarding. We missed pre-boarding, but, thankfully, we didn't miss the flight! But sweat is dripping down my neck as I look around and see others wearing heavy winter coats. Whew... still so thankful we made it!

This time, I opt to check both the stoller and the car seat. The car seat was just so heavy and bulky to take to the back of a plane. And I thought I could manage both toddlers on a one hour flight, without haveing to strap one down.

Thumbs-up on the choice not to take the car seat on board. It was a full plane, and the extra space we had, without that bulky seat, was well worth it!

Even if the teenager we sat next to me was texting about how miserable she was about to be. I noticed her texting and opted not to read the rest when I saw "great... I'm stuck next to a mom with a 2 year old and a..." Sorry girl. I'm stuck BEING the mom with the 2 yr old and the baby. lol

Nathan loved the takeoff, again. This time he didn't steal his sister's pacifier. And they both munched on chicken nuggets while we ascended to the skies.

They also munched on shortbeard biscuits that the flight attendant was kind enough to give them. Unfortunately Faith's oozed from her mouth as she gummed it to death... and then wiped it on me. On my shirt. All over me. At one point, she was looking over my shoulder (it was what made her happy and realively still) and a stranger walked up the aisle on the way to the bathroom. He stopped and told me "Excuse me, but she's getting that cookie all over your hair" Oh, great...

When we arrived in BWI, I saw how bad I looked. I was covered... in water, juice, shortbread cookie, banana, chicken nugget... and there was probably even a little poo on me somewhere. My mom saw me when we exited secruity and laughed... she said I certainly looked the part of a mom of 2 toddlers. At least I can laugh :) And it should all come out in the wash... by the way... the cell phone photo doesn't do it justice - plus I took the pic AFTER I'd used wipes on the plane to attempt to clean up some.

Oh, I should mention the turbulence. The winds are BAD in Baltimore today... really strong! And we hit some downright terrible turbulence. People were green. Babies were crying. Children were screaming. And my kids???? Laughing, giggling and having the time of their life!!! They thought it was just one wild ride, and loved it! Which was great... beats screaming and crying by a mile!! But trying to corral 2 excited toddlers (and keep them from annoying the girl sitting next to us, or Mr. Grumpy Pants in front of us) was something of a challenge!

Anyways, we were last to exit the plane. After putting the stroller back together, strapping on the car seat, loading up - all while trying to corral Faith from walking back onto the plane or crawling out the ramp exit door... After all that, we changed diapers, tried to clean up a bit and then left to go find Gramma. And our checked bag... it was the only one left circling the baggage claim - we're we really that late? At least the bag was there! YAY!

So many other funny (now) things that happened to us on our journey to Gramma & Grampa's house. Too many to type, since I'm tired. But I figured you all would get a good laugh out of my day and take heed to know that yhou should never... ever... ever... fly alone with 2 toddlers. Ever. And if you do, brign a camera crew!

But we survived. Thats much more than I can say for the multi-colored goldfish :)